


So here I am and I will not run, Guts over fear

by yasminkhxns



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, Not Really A Happy Ending, for the fanzine prompt, though i suppose it could be classed as kind of open ended if you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 23:02:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18508855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yasminkhxns/pseuds/yasminkhxns
Summary: Team TARDIS land on a space station 1000 years in Earth's future and pretty much everything that could go wrong, goes wrong.





	So here I am and I will not run, Guts over fear

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just a quick thing i wrote for the prompt from the Thirteenth Doctor Fanzine. The prompt is 'I have a duty of care'
> 
> I'm not part of it but there are some incredible creators who are, so i highly recommend checking out their socials! (@thirteenfanzine on tumblr and twitter) I'm super excited for it and all you guys should be too! I can tell its going to be brilliant!
> 
> The fic title come from Guts Over Fear by Eminem and Sia.
> 
> P.S. Sorry Yaz, we really love to hurt you in this fandom don't we?

The space station team TARDIS landed on had been going critical since the moment they stepped out of the deep blue doors. They were about 1000 years in Earth’s future and a new company had decided to use an experimental generator, which it turns out, was extremely unsafe.

 

Nothing had been going to plan for the Doctor since they arrived. Overheating in sub sections had killed a lot of the workers, including all the scientists and their robot. Yaz had been separated from them early on and was elsewhere with a couple of other workers who were keeping in touch with the time lord over comms, letting her know her companion was safe. To top it all off they had found the only way stop the whole station from exploding was for someone to be in the airlock room with the generator, manually holding down a lever that will allow the Doctor to stabilise the rest of the station. It sounded simple enough, until a worker informed the Doctor that when the lever is pulled down, the room goes into emergency protocol and deadlocks the room leaving one person trapped inside with the subsequent explosion.

 

 It did at first seem like a terrible piece of engineering until it was explained to the Doctor that was the purpose of the robot, to do what the humans wouldn’t survive, that was until it was destroyed with the rest of the scientists.

 

Initially, one of the workers had been prepared to sacrifice themselves, knew he wouldn’t see his daughter again but was ok with it if it meant everyone else survived. Yet, PC Khan of Hallamshire Police wouldn’t allow it. Yaz knocked him out and stepped into the room herself.

 

The following silence on the comms worried the Doctor greatly, until the worker woke up and realised what had happened, rushing to the door to find it already deadlocked. He moved to the window to see Yaz, standing there, lever already pulled down. The decision had been made.

 

The Doctor’s voice burst through the comms then, demanding a response.

 

"Will someone please tell me what’s going on down there?! I’m this close to coming down myself."

 

The worker looked over at Yaz through the window again, she nodded, he gulped and responded. "I’m here! I’m here. Sorry. We’re all ok." He eyed Yaz again.

 

"Oh. Good. Where’s Yaz?" There was a long pause. The worker breathed out, preparing himself for what he knew would be a terrible response.

 

"In the airlock."

 

The Doctor took a moment to comprehend what he said. Stunned into silence until panic kicked in.

 

"What?!"

 

"Yasmin is in there. Doctor I’m so sorry. I was going to go in there, but she knocked me out, went in there herself. By the time I woke up she’d already pulled the lever, so the room is deadlock sealed. There’s nothing I can do. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry." The silence that followed from the Doctor was unnerving. Until a muffled response came through.

 

"Can you put me through to her?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Do it. Now." The worker tapped a few buttons on the screen attached to his arm. ‘Ok, she can hear you.’ A few moments later the Doctor’s voice filtered into the airlock for Yaz to hear.

 

"Yaz what the hell are you thinking?! I’m on my way down there now."

 

"Doctor no. You know you can’t. You need to stay where you are and make sure the station stays stabilized, with all the scientist’s dead you’re these people’s only hope."

 

"I can’t let you do this Yaz. I have a duty of care to you. To all of you. I promised I’d keep you safe." Tears filled both women’s eyes at the reality of the situation.

 

"And you have, you always have. Done a brilliant job of it, in fact." Yaz struggled to keep her voice composed. Not wanting to upset the Doctor more than she already had. "But this is my choice. My duty of care as a police officer, even if it is 1000 years later. I still have a duty to the people of earth, like you have a duty to us."

 

"Yasmin Khan." The Doctor’s voice wavered on her companion’s name. "As brave and as compassionate and as brilliant as ever. You said I was the best person you ever met. I’m starting to think that should be the other way around. But still," The Doctor’s voice broke, "I can’t lose you. I can’t let you put your life on the line like this. So Ryan," she turned to the boy next to her, "you have to do exactly as I tell you otherwise-"

 

"Doctor!" Tears were starting to spill down the young woman’s cheeks. "There’s no point. Only 30 seconds left on the timer now. You won’t make it down to this level of the station anyway. So please, just say with me on the comms."

 

25 seconds. The Doctor accepted it. She wouldn’t see Yaz’s beautiful face again, knew she couldn’t get over there in time no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many calculations she made in her brain. She would only be able to hear her friend in her final and stupidly brave moments.

 

"Ok Yaz, I’m here you with you."

 

20 seconds.

 

"Thank you, Doctor."

 

17 seconds.

 

"Yaz?"

 

"Yes Doctor?"

 

13 seconds.

 

"There’s something I want to tell you, before you go."

 

Yaz let a choked sob escape. "As long as it’s not something that will make me regret doing this."

 

7 seconds. It will.

 

"I wish I told you sooner" Tear tracks marked the Doctor’s face, "but I love you, Yasmin Khan." There was sharp gasp on the other end of the comms as Yasmin Khan uttered her final words.

 

"I lo-" There was only the sound starting sound of an explosion, followed by silence. The Doctor bowed her head in defeat, letting her tears drip onto the control panel in front of her.

 

She’d failed, and all that remained was static.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean I guess it's kind of open ended? But not really lol. I had thoughts about adding one last little bit that sparks hope of Yaz's survival but the situation I wrote makes it pretty bleak. HOWEVER, this is Doctor Who so you never know! People always say with sci-fi/fantasy shows like this, if you don't see the body they aren't dead ;)
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated, really hope you enjoyed! (as sad as this story was)


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